![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
13th metal . spam & text . cw: self-harm
[ He winds long bandages around his arms before he goes to take a shower, covering himself from elbow to palm. He makes it look more like gauntlets than anything else, to minimize any questions asked, moves furtively and quickly, dodges out as soon as possible. And he longs for the days when the servants had to bring him a bath, and he didn't care what they saw - let them gossip, let them spread the word that he hurts himself. Let it add to the terror they see in him.
Here, it only adds to his shame and frustration. The voice is gone, and he shouldn't need to control himself this way, but the longer he resists, the greater the need becomes, and he always gives in eventually.
It seems wrong to him, anyway, that his arms are mostly bare of scars. That his chest, too, is unmarked. That the other evidence of his violent life is erased, leaving his skin as ordinary as a child's. Sometimes he remembers the scars and he feels the temptation to bring them back.
He has also often been stepping into the gardens and the greenhouse lately, mostly just sitting still and watching the plants. He recognizes their progress. Tries, though it makes him feel a little ridiculous, to murmur things to them sometimes. To talk to them. ]
[ text ]
If you have scars, are they important to you? Do you think they matter?
[ video ; private to Charles ]
I told Megamind you wouldn't object to me attending school. I knew it was the kind of thing that you like.
Here, it only adds to his shame and frustration. The voice is gone, and he shouldn't need to control himself this way, but the longer he resists, the greater the need becomes, and he always gives in eventually.
It seems wrong to him, anyway, that his arms are mostly bare of scars. That his chest, too, is unmarked. That the other evidence of his violent life is erased, leaving his skin as ordinary as a child's. Sometimes he remembers the scars and he feels the temptation to bring them back.
He has also often been stepping into the gardens and the greenhouse lately, mostly just sitting still and watching the plants. He recognizes their progress. Tries, though it makes him feel a little ridiculous, to murmur things to them sometimes. To talk to them. ]
[ text ]
If you have scars, are they important to you? Do you think they matter?
[ video ; private to Charles ]
I told Megamind you wouldn't object to me attending school. I knew it was the kind of thing that you like.
no subject
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
[private]
[private]
Doesn't that mean they do matter?
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
[private]
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
no subject
The hell do you think?
no subject
I think for you they'd have to.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
[ private ]
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
private
private
As many as me, you mean?
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
private
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Text
Text
Text
Text
Text
Text
Text
Text
Text
Text
Re: Text
Text
Text
[private/Babs/this is not a threadjack, really]
private/video
Text
Text
Text
Text
Text
Text
Text
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
no subject
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
spam »
He finds one of those exceptions today. ]
Making friends?
spam »
I've heard it helps them.
[ He believes fully that Ivy knows better about plants than he does. He also believes that Ivy isn't above telling him something stupid to make him get out of her way. So he believes what she says it provisionally, for now. ]
spam » and by 'not' in that previous tag, i really mean 'now*' oops
spam » lmao I figured.....
spam »
spam »
spam »
spam »
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
[Private]
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
[spam]
Tell me why?
[And order or a question; maybe both, gentle either way. He can imagine multiple reasonable possibilities.]
[spam]
He rolls his head to the side, to search the Emperor's face.]
To keep control.
[That's the easiest answer, anyway. Refusing to say anything crosses his mind, but he holds the impulse at bay.]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
[spam]
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
text;
text;
text; private
text; private
text; private
text; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
voice; private
...
no subject
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
video
It's definitely Touko on the other end, but a gleefully grinning one, wide-eyed but almost more... well, relaxed somehow. Instead of grumpily sending texts, she wants to talk to this one.]
I'm proud of mine!
video
[ Somewhat... dubious. He doesn't know what to expect from her. ]
video
video
Re: video
Re: video
video
video
video
video
video
video
video
video
video
video
video - ugh i need to keep my fukawa journals straight
video
Re: video
video
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...