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13th metal . spam & text . cw: self-harm
[ He winds long bandages around his arms before he goes to take a shower, covering himself from elbow to palm. He makes it look more like gauntlets than anything else, to minimize any questions asked, moves furtively and quickly, dodges out as soon as possible. And he longs for the days when the servants had to bring him a bath, and he didn't care what they saw - let them gossip, let them spread the word that he hurts himself. Let it add to the terror they see in him.
Here, it only adds to his shame and frustration. The voice is gone, and he shouldn't need to control himself this way, but the longer he resists, the greater the need becomes, and he always gives in eventually.
It seems wrong to him, anyway, that his arms are mostly bare of scars. That his chest, too, is unmarked. That the other evidence of his violent life is erased, leaving his skin as ordinary as a child's. Sometimes he remembers the scars and he feels the temptation to bring them back.
He has also often been stepping into the gardens and the greenhouse lately, mostly just sitting still and watching the plants. He recognizes their progress. Tries, though it makes him feel a little ridiculous, to murmur things to them sometimes. To talk to them. ]
[ text ]
If you have scars, are they important to you? Do you think they matter?
[ video ; private to Charles ]
I told Megamind you wouldn't object to me attending school. I knew it was the kind of thing that you like.
Here, it only adds to his shame and frustration. The voice is gone, and he shouldn't need to control himself this way, but the longer he resists, the greater the need becomes, and he always gives in eventually.
It seems wrong to him, anyway, that his arms are mostly bare of scars. That his chest, too, is unmarked. That the other evidence of his violent life is erased, leaving his skin as ordinary as a child's. Sometimes he remembers the scars and he feels the temptation to bring them back.
He has also often been stepping into the gardens and the greenhouse lately, mostly just sitting still and watching the plants. He recognizes their progress. Tries, though it makes him feel a little ridiculous, to murmur things to them sometimes. To talk to them. ]
[ text ]
If you have scars, are they important to you? Do you think they matter?
[ video ; private to Charles ]
I told Megamind you wouldn't object to me attending school. I knew it was the kind of thing that you like.
video
It's definitely Touko on the other end, but a gleefully grinning one, wide-eyed but almost more... well, relaxed somehow. Instead of grumpily sending texts, she wants to talk to this one.]
I'm proud of mine!
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[ Somewhat... dubious. He doesn't know what to expect from her. ]
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They're reminders. Even Gloomy knows what we've done if they're there.
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Re: video
You have to have met Gloomy by now! Touko Fukawa, Ultimate High School Killjoy. She's so boring, isn't she? I'm the only one who ever has any fun.
[Her tongue stays out, but her mouth quirks into a smile and she tries to give him a sly, seductive look, like a weasel sizing up a wildcat and thinking it's prey.]
That's what the scars are from.
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There are two different people in Touko's head. ]
Boring isn't how I'd put it.
She attacked me.
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Why would she do that? She's so scared of everything I have to handle all her problems!
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[Her head swings from side to side, almost owl-like, in a rueful stretch, tongue sliding further out of her mouth as she keeps rambling.] I just hadn't had a man in such a long time...
Was she any good, at least? Was she much of a fight?
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But I wouldn't have gone after you. [Her tongue flicks once, just quickly enough that Zane might wonder if he saw that or not.] Unless it's what you wanted.
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[ Of this he is 400% sure. ]
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I can show you just how good I am.
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video - ugh i need to keep my fukawa journals straight
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But I don't have to win... in fact, I think I'd rather lose to you instead.
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You protect her.
Where were you after she tried to hurt me, the first time?
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[She pouts, an almost ludicrous whine sliding past her teeth.]
She never really understood men. Not like I can!
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