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13th metal . spam & text . cw: self-harm
[ He winds long bandages around his arms before he goes to take a shower, covering himself from elbow to palm. He makes it look more like gauntlets than anything else, to minimize any questions asked, moves furtively and quickly, dodges out as soon as possible. And he longs for the days when the servants had to bring him a bath, and he didn't care what they saw - let them gossip, let them spread the word that he hurts himself. Let it add to the terror they see in him.
Here, it only adds to his shame and frustration. The voice is gone, and he shouldn't need to control himself this way, but the longer he resists, the greater the need becomes, and he always gives in eventually.
It seems wrong to him, anyway, that his arms are mostly bare of scars. That his chest, too, is unmarked. That the other evidence of his violent life is erased, leaving his skin as ordinary as a child's. Sometimes he remembers the scars and he feels the temptation to bring them back.
He has also often been stepping into the gardens and the greenhouse lately, mostly just sitting still and watching the plants. He recognizes their progress. Tries, though it makes him feel a little ridiculous, to murmur things to them sometimes. To talk to them. ]
[ text ]
If you have scars, are they important to you? Do you think they matter?
[ video ; private to Charles ]
I told Megamind you wouldn't object to me attending school. I knew it was the kind of thing that you like.
Here, it only adds to his shame and frustration. The voice is gone, and he shouldn't need to control himself this way, but the longer he resists, the greater the need becomes, and he always gives in eventually.
It seems wrong to him, anyway, that his arms are mostly bare of scars. That his chest, too, is unmarked. That the other evidence of his violent life is erased, leaving his skin as ordinary as a child's. Sometimes he remembers the scars and he feels the temptation to bring them back.
He has also often been stepping into the gardens and the greenhouse lately, mostly just sitting still and watching the plants. He recognizes their progress. Tries, though it makes him feel a little ridiculous, to murmur things to them sometimes. To talk to them. ]
[ text ]
If you have scars, are they important to you? Do you think they matter?
[ video ; private to Charles ]
I told Megamind you wouldn't object to me attending school. I knew it was the kind of thing that you like.
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You should know that power like that - like magic - is something you can be proud of. It makes you exceptional. Different from the rest.
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In my world, Allomancy is... people keep it secret, when they have it. They let the world pretend they don't exist. It's wrong. All it does is let people take advantage of Allomancers, in secret, in the darkness.
The rest are weaker than us. We're more.
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I fought a war so we could live in the light. I was the last High Priestess. Being more doesn't mean winning.
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I wasn't a good brother. I used the Mistings the way my father wanted to use me - callously. Effectively. I would send them off into a fight where it didn't matter if they won or lost, because dead or alive my plans would move forward.
I'm what my world made me. And I was insane, too.
Mistborn is what I know. It's the part that makes sense.
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[And she falls silent because he could be describing her. Leader instead of brother, army instead of Mistings, and it's everything she did. She's what fate made her. And she's known insanity.]
The first real scars I had, I received in ports here.
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Scars on your skin.
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I don't think you were talking about internal scars.
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