28th metal . voice

[godsays]

The Admiral makes you a warden before you finish learning. Finding out what's right and what's wrong.

Is that because you never stop learning?

Comments

private

[godsays]

Of course not.

But it doesn't have to be logical when you feel trapped.

private

[versusnurture]

I don't want to kill him. I might still, someday.

Do you still feel trapped? Or free?

private

[godsays]

Neither.

I'm chained, but it was me who put them there, and I can take them away if I want to. So, free, maybe, but without wanting to leave.

private

[versusnurture]

Free not wanting to hurt people?

private

[godsays]

Free with a family. The good kind.

I didn't know there was a good kind before here.

private

[versusnurture]

I think I'm jealous of you. Or think you're deluded. It's hard to know.

private

[godsays]

It could be both.

I wouldn't know if I was deluded.

private

[versusnurture]

You knew before.

private

[godsays]

I was wrong, and then I was right in a different way than I thought.

private

[versusnurture]

Do you understand your own mind now?

[This is a trick question.]

private

[godsays]

I understand that it's too messy to understand.

private

[versusnurture]

[hufffffffff]

That's a cop-out.

private

[godsays]

No, it's not. It's the truth.

private

[versusnurture]

Well, then I don't like it.

[huff!!]

private

[godsays]

Then what did you want to hear?

private

[versusnurture]

An answer that makes sense. That takes up real space and has borders and - something quantifiable.

private

[godsays]

Twenty-two.

[ there how do u like that. ]

private

[versusnurture]

[ahlshf angrygiggle]

That's stupid. You're stupid.

private

[godsays]

If you don't want stupid answers, don't ask stupid questions.

private

[versusnurture]

Maybe I just shouldn't talk to stupid people.

private

[godsays]

But then who would you have to talk to?

private

[versusnurture]

My father.

[Two words: they start out victorious and edge into despair on the last syllable. She couldn't even begin to say why.]

private

[godsays]

[ He freezes, at this. It wasn't the answer he expected, and he is as paralyzed, like a rabbit under the eyes of a predator. ]

private

[versusnurture]

[She should take advantage of this. It's what Hannibal would want, she knows. Take advantage; make him weak. Make him, if possible, dependent on her. She could do it, she thinks. She could use this moment to put a hook in his heart and pull, pull, pull.]

[She doesn't.]

[Her voice trembles.]

He wants to play with you now. He'll eat your heart.

Go be something better somewhere else.

private

[godsays]

[ He wouldn't let her. Or, he'd try not to - and he can still be cruel, even though he gives more chances than he ever has. ]

He won't get me.

He can hurt me where I'm weak, but I heal there.