28th metal . voice

[godsays]

The Admiral makes you a warden before you finish learning. Finding out what's right and what's wrong.

Is that because you never stop learning?

Comments

private

[versusnurture]

I have plenty of other excuses.

[Which is a lot more honest than she meant to be, really.]

private

[godsays]

[ In this silence: disapproval. He wants to stop her. He won't, but he wants to. ]

private

[versusnurture]

I have to beat him. You can understand that, can't you?

private

[godsays]

I don't think it's possible. Do you?

If you play his game, you lose.

private

[versusnurture]

I think it's possible. I just have to figure out how. I don't have to win everything, just do better than him.

private

[godsays]

And what's the cost?

private

[versusnurture]

Significant. But I'm already dead. What does it matter?

private

[godsays]

You're breathing. Your heart is beating.

I'm tired of people trying to use that excuse.

private

[versusnurture]

Why? Because you used it?

I've been violated in my death. He sang to me. He cut my throat and sang to me as I bled out. So I can care about people but not things, not principles. I definitely don't care about the cost.

private

[godsays]

It's your choice.

private

[versusnurture]

. . . Yes. It is. It's not about being alive or dead or something in between. It's about choice.

private

[godsays]

I mean, I wouldn't try to stop you.

private

[versusnurture]

I know. I understood what you meant. And . . . thank you. It's just that you've showed me something else, too.

private

[godsays]

[ He hesitates. Isn't sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. ]

private

[versusnurture]

I won't use excuses anymore. That's all I mean.

private

[godsays]

To him or to yourself?

private

[versusnurture]

To myself.

private

[godsays]

Good.

[ It's a step. ]

private

[versusnurture]

[She hesitates, wholly unused to protective feelings, much less protective feelings of a non-parental figure. After a moment, she huffs in frustration.]

Promise me you won't do anything stupid. Please?

private

[godsays]

I think everything through.