private . 19th metal

[godsays]

[ private to anya ]

I think I need help.

[ private to kelsier ]

I want to ask you to keep Vin away from me, but I don't trust you to put my safety over her comfort.

[ Bald and honest. He cares about Kelsier, and Marsh, and it is unbelievably painful to understand that he would be betrayed. ]

[ private to iris ]

You've been killed before. By people here.

[ private to morgana ]

How did you die?

[ a couple days later, private to Cassel ]

I'm sorry I've been so afraid.

Comments

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

Without doubt. [Stop making her feel complicated things zane, it's confusing.]

Does that make me a coward?

[ private ]

[godsays]

Are you afraid to be who you are? Because that isn't the same as knowing it would be easier to be something else.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

No. There's no point to fear, anymore. [A quiet laugh] They wanted me to be a monster so I became a monster. That's who I am. I'm not afraid of that.

[ private ]

[godsays]

Then you're not a coward.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

[It's comforting, especially since Lara's accusations of fear cut so deep. She is afraid, of so many things - of the way her thoughts don't feel her own sometimes, of the way she feels like spin further and further out of control, and yes, like Lara said, she's afraid of spending an unchanging eternity here, full of ports like the Vanquish and enough floods to make her forget what's real.

She's afraid, but at least that doesn't make her a coward. It's nice to hear.]

Thank you.

[ private ]

[godsays]

I've only called one person a coward here, and it was because he thought he knew best for someone else, when what he was really picking was to stay away from what he was afraid of.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

Who?

[ private ]

[godsays]

Chris.

Pulling away from Cassel.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

I don't really know him. [She knows Cassel's involved with him, and that Cassel was hurt because of that involvement, but that's it.]

[ private ]

[godsays]

I don't blame you. He's very loud.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

But easy enough to ignore. [Then again, most people are.]

[ private ]

[godsays]

If you really want to ignore something, nothing can make you pay attention.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

Maybe.

[ private ]

[godsays]

...I don't even know who your warden is. Or if you have one.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

Lara Croft.

[ private ]

[godsays]

I don't know her.

Do you like her?

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

I don't know. Better than my last warden.

...She's decided we're to share a dog. [There is still the tiniest element of bewilderment here.]

[ private ]

[godsays]

At least she didn't just give it to you.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

I think she knows I'd let her loose in the Barge rather than keep her.

[Maybe. Probably not.]

[ private ]

[godsays]

Maybe I should have done that with Dani.

[ no he couldn't. ]

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

She wouldn't have lasted a day.

[ private ]

[godsays]

I know.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

You care about her already.

[ private ]

[godsays]

She's just an animal.

[ private ]

[youwillgotohell]

Is she?