private . 19th metal

[godsays]

[ private to anya ]

I think I need help.

[ private to kelsier ]

I want to ask you to keep Vin away from me, but I don't trust you to put my safety over her comfort.

[ Bald and honest. He cares about Kelsier, and Marsh, and it is unbelievably painful to understand that he would be betrayed. ]

[ private to iris ]

You've been killed before. By people here.

[ private to morgana ]

How did you die?

[ a couple days later, private to Cassel ]

I'm sorry I've been so afraid.

Comments

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

Any ill effects?

[private]

[godsays]

So it wouldn't matter if there weren't any?

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

It would just make you frustratingly difficult to find.

[private]

[godsays]

Then forget it.

[ Yes. Yes it has ill effects, but more important than that, to Zane, is what made him do it in the first place. They all prefer him helpless. And why shouldn't they? He'll kill fewer people this way. His instability matters less. ]

Keep her away from me. Or don't.

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

[So there are ill effects.]

Zane. What do you need?

[private]

[godsays]

She killed me!

[ He deserved it. Without a doubt he deserved it, and he would have done the same and worse in her circumstances. And yet. ]

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

The Lord Ruler killed me.

I know what happened, Zane. What do you need now?

[private]

[godsays]

The Lord Ruler isn't a warden with power over you.

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

You're right.

[A terrible thought occurs to him.] What if that changed?

[private]

[godsays]

What if the Lord Ruler came here?

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

[Not exactly what he meant but he'll go with it.]

I would be where you are now. That wasn't the change I meant, unless wanted that sort of company.

[But that does get Kelsier on a new thought. One he's not even sure he wants to voice.] I know what I would need.

What do you need?

[private]

[godsays]

If I kill her, it makes everything worse again. I don't want her to come anywhere near me unless she wants - to understand.

[ Understanding, and empathy, is the only way things have ever gotten better here. ]

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

Because of what you might do or what you might otherwise. I will talk to her.

Is there anything else?

[private]

[godsays]

I used to dream about being away from my father.

I don't anymore.

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

What do you dream about now?

[private]

[godsays]

Giving up.

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

Do you want to?

[private]

[godsays]

I'm done, Kelsier! I don't want to try if I can't succeed!

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

[The sad thing is Kelsier has been there when trapped deep in the earth with his arms bleeding. It takes some effort to keep his voice even.]

Then... what are you going to do?

[private]

[godsays]

What should I do?

[private]

[onlysurvivor]

[He's quiet for awhile like he's not quite sure he should just tell him what to do. Eventually... his voice comes through, lower than usual.]

Survive.

[private]

[godsays]

[ Without another word, Zane ends the connection. ]