04 . Spam for pre-arranged threads

[godsays]

[ He settles into his own mind with a jarring sense of wrongness, from thoughts that fell in orderly lines to a jumble, mismatched and unsettling. With the ebb of the flood, he has changed, from sanity to the lack of same, and he feels the difference all the more starkly now that he knows for certain what both of them mean.

Heel of his hand rubs at the lump over his breastbone.

He would be sane, if not for the voice. Is that what this meant? Or was it the weakness in his heart that stopped him from being as dangerous as he otherwise would have been? Was the Admiral's goal to take away his teeth, to make him meek? Or was this truly a lesson he should take to heart?

He tries to herd his thoughts, settles into stillness in the corner. Utter stillness, not moving a muscle for hours.

In the meantime: his door is closed. ]

Comments

[godsays]

What do you want?

[ It isn't an answer. He doesn't have an answer, not a good one. His insanity hasn't changed. It just feels like it has. ]

[patheticvillain]

[When most people look at someone and think freak, they don't feel any measure of kinship. Repulsion's more common. Cassel, on the other hand, feels like he's looking at some weird alternate-universe version of himself. He can't put his finger on why. Maybe it's the look. Zane doesn't trust anyone.]

[Cassel sits down across from him, posture deliberately relaxed.]

To bother you.

ugh he is being so tight-lipped

[godsays]

[ He's never met anyone who would do this.

Except -

His mind touches, briefly, on Vin, and then his thoughts shy away again. ]

You've succeeded.

HE'S GREAT. HE'S AMAZING. you're amazing.

[patheticvillain]

Go, me. The crowd goes wild.

[His voice drips with sarcasm as he leans back against the wall, hands folded behind his head.]

Of course that just means I have to outdo myself. So I guess you're stuck with me.

[godsays]

[ He is silent, for a long moment. Looks like he might just accept Cassel's presence in the room, insofar as barely acknowledging it goes.

But then he speaks: ]

I was different as a warden.

[ This isn't the root of his troubles. It's a distraction and a somewhat related problem. ]

[patheticvillain]

[His hands slide to the floor, lazy. His head lolls to one side, but his eyes are bright and attentive on Zane's face.]

Yeah? I was pretty different, too. I wasn't a warden, though.

[godsays]

[ A glance to Cassel, with narrowed eyes. Yes. He knows Cassel wasn't a warden. ]

[patheticvillain]

I'm just saying.

[He half-grins. It's not actually funny at all, though.]

How were you different?

[godsays]

I wasn't insane.

[ ...and that's the problem, isn't it? ]

[patheticvillain]

Okay, I can't tell if that's good or bad. That you weren't, I mean.

[godsays]

[ A twitch of his shoulder, an almost-shrug. He's not particularly sure either. ]

[patheticvillain]

[He makes a curious noise and scoots a little away from the wall, resting his hands on his ankles.]

What does it mean?

[godsays]

Maybe nothing.

[patheticvillain]

[He snorts.]

Maybe something.

[godsays]

The floods aren't supposed to mean anything.

[patheticvillain]

But you think this does.

You're a crappy liar, you might as well just spit it out.

[godsays]

[ A half-smile. ]

I'm an excellent liar.

[ He doesn't seem particularly proud of the fact. ]

[patheticvillain]

[Me too. Cassel shakes his head.]

Maybe. But not right now.

[godsays]

In order to be a good liar, you have to know the truth.

[ And here, he knows fuck-all. ]

[patheticvillain]

[Ah. Yep, there it is. And it's true, too - before Cassel knew the truth about himself, his lies were shit.]

[He leans forward again, hands on his knees.]

So how are you going to figure it out?

[godsays]

I met a man here who could speak in people's minds.

[patheticvillain]

Can you trust him?

[He smirks. It's a joke. Of course he can't.]

[godsays]

Does it matter?

[ It's not a joke. Zane's mind is already a mess. How worse could someone make it, really? ]

[patheticvillain]

. . . Good point.

He wants to help?

[godsays]

I didn't know it was possible. To hear things that didn't come from your own mind.

[ And perhaps from here a conclusion can be drawn: that there was a voice. ]