godsays | 28th metal . voice

Skip to Main Content

Entry tags:

28th metal . voice

The Admiral makes you a warden before you finish learning. Finding out what's right and what's wrong.

Is that because you never stop learning?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're retrained.

Congratulations, by the way.

...thank you.

[ A hesitation proceeds the words, because he's thinking too much. He's remembering all the little things that are true and that never happened. Unreal unfalsehoods. ]

What do you mean, retrained?

Your mindset is readjusted with the help of someone else, or several someones. A warden, in this case. Not necessarily a bad thing.

[Not necessarily a good thing, either.]

Inherently a bad thing. Not necessarily with bad results.

Do you believe your mind's been violated by the process?

I let it be violated. I let people walk around inside.

I wanted to be saved, though.

I want to save myself.

I want to protect my warden, too. Is that weird?

Maybe. I think what's most normal is to put your resentment on your warden. They can be a symbol of everything that's trapping you.

But I think it's better the other way.

He's not what's trapping me.

Of course not.

But it doesn't have to be logical when you feel trapped.

I don't want to kill him. I might still, someday.

Do you still feel trapped? Or free?

Neither.

I'm chained, but it was me who put them there, and I can take them away if I want to. So, free, maybe, but without wanting to leave.

Free not wanting to hurt people?

Free with a family. The good kind.

I didn't know there was a good kind before here.

I think I'm jealous of you. Or think you're deluded. It's hard to know.

It could be both.

I wouldn't know if I was deluded.

You knew before.

I was wrong, and then I was right in a different way than I thought.

Do you understand your own mind now?

[This is a trick question.]

I understand that it's too messy to understand.

[hufffffffff]

That's a cop-out.

No, it's not. It's the truth.

Well, then I don't like it.

[huff!!]

Then what did you want to hear?

An answer that makes sense. That takes up real space and has borders and - something quantifiable.

private

godsays - 2013-10-05 02:20 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-05 02:24 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-05 02:33 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-05 02:35 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-05 21:45 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-06 16:33 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 04:30 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 13:38 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 13:59 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 14:21 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 14:30 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 22:59 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 23:10 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 23:12 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 23:16 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 23:21 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 23:22 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 23:24 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 23:26 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 23:30 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 23:34 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 23:38 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 23:39 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 23:41 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-07 23:42 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-07 23:55 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 00:07 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 00:11 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 00:11 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 00:12 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 00:15 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 00:26 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 00:26 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 00:28 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 00:31 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 00:35 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 00:39 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 00:49 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 01:06 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 01:15 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 01:39 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 01:45 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 02:14 (UTC) - Expand

private

versusnurture - 2013-10-08 13:09 (UTC) - Expand

private

godsays - 2013-10-08 17:56 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only