godsays | 36 metals ; homeward

[ private to marsh ]

Do you think your god - the new god - could use someone like me?

[ spam, cassel ]

[ He seeks Cassel out, after the conversation with Marsh, knocks at his door. Cassel is family; family is the first he's going to tell.

He won't be gone forever. Just for a little while. Just enough to get his bearings again. ]

[ spam, emperor ]

[ Lying idly in the Emperor's garden, brushing a soft leaf between his fingertips. ]

I'm going to go home.

[ This is stated somewhat tentatively. Not because he isn't mostly sure about the decision, but because he isn't sure how it will be taken. ]

[ video, locked to close cr; includes Cassel, Barbara, Iris, Bush, Chris, Anya, Charles, Morgana, Kelsier, Marsh, Vin, Emperor, possibly others I have missed, ask if confused ]

I'm going - home. To Scadrial. The planet where I was born. Years after I died, and I hear it's a little different now, but I'm going.

I'm don't think I'm ready for this - being a warden - yet. That's all.

I'll be back. This is more home to me than anywhere else has been.

[ locked to mistcast ]

If there's anything you want me to find, or find out, tell me now.

[ video ; open ]

I'll be leaving, temporarily. If you have business with me, we should conclude it now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[More emotion shows in her eyes in this moment than she almost ever shows in public. She's proud, but she's angry and frustrated and terrified, too. Only one of these is really for Zane.]

Do you remember Spook?

The name isn't familiar.

Well, find him. Find him and make sure he's not being an idiot.

. . . And tell Sazed I'm sorry.

[For what, she doesn't and won't specify.]

I will. [ Thinks of joking, quietly, about whether or not Vin can trust Zane not to be an idiot. But he doesn't. ]

Sazed. He's the god?

He is. Once he was my friend. Advisor.

[She misses him. Painfully.]

Are you afraid?

Yes. [ Very. Very. ]

Do you think he'll... [ There are quiet undertones of the neglected child, here. Of the young man who still doesn't quite understand. ] Help me? [ Like me. Take me in. Give him somewhere to focus and to learn. If he doesn't learn, the pain of leaving the Barge will be for nothing. ]

He'll welcome you.

[Despite everything. Because of everything. In conjunction with everything. He'll love Zane, probably, in the way that he loves broken monsters: so much and so warmly that they gain a little wholeness from being in his presence.]

He'll never make you do anything you don't want to do.

[ His head drops; he's on the verge of tears, and he's not sure why, exactly. ]

I know. Marsh told me some about him.

Marsh is telling you the truth. But - then that's what he does.

[Brutal truths have always been Marsh's purview. She averts her eyes briefly, then forces herself to look back.]

Don't cry. You won't be alone there. Sazed will see you for what you are, for what you've sacrificed. For your potential.

[ That's the reason he'd cry. That, not out of fear, not out of grief. Out of being accepted. ]

I'll find Spook.

You'll spar with me before you go.

[Not a question, or a request. It will calm him down. She knows.]

[She's not good at talking and she won't touch him. This is what she can do.]

...yes.

[ Thank you. ]

Good.

[Always.]

[There is only a brief hesitation before she hangs up, quickly and with every appearance of confidence.]

36 metals ; homeward

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private/video ➥ we can spam or not, up to you!