15th metal . private messages

[godsays]

[ Private to Chris ]

Do I have to kill him?

[ Guess who just woke up and saw the kerfuffle. Zero to rage in thirty-one seconds. ]

[ Private to Cassel ]

Are you well enough to make metals? Because if so, I'm going to ask for pewter, iron and steel.

If not...

[ He doesn't finish that. ]

Comments

[Private]

[mistconduct]

I don't know.

Fuck, I don't know. I have to...fucking...


I have to kill him, and I have to...find Kon.

[Private]

[godsays]

Don't.

I'm good at it, and Cassel might want you to be... the better person.

[Private]

[mistconduct]

Cassel wants you being the better person.

Zane, I fucked up so hard. I fucked up in the fucking worst possible way. This is all my fault, I can't handle it.

[Private]

[godsays]

I'm not. Doing this is... it's another twig, on a bonfire. It doesn't matter. You haven't killed like I have.

Let me fix it.

[Private]

[mistconduct]

I haven't killed anyone. But I fucking want to. I fucking want to kill the prick that did this to Cassel.

How.

[Private]

[godsays]

By killing him. I don't care if someone else got there first. I want him to die at one of our hands.

[ The three of them. Their family. ]

[Private]

[mistconduct]

...I want to see what Cassel says first. I don't fucking...trust myself to do anything right.

I should've talked to Kon..

private

[patheticvillain]

No. I'm not. My fingers were just broken.

Don't threaten me.

[waking up spam]

[heisrisen]

[He's there, writing in a notebook - pouring out a ridiculous amount of data from memory and trying to synthesize it for Iris. There's two glasses of water (one full, one half full) and a plate of food beside him, simple, snackable things like fruit and cheese. He's halfway through an orange right now, the rind in one long curl beside the ridiculous processed cakes.]

private

[godsays]

I'm not.

But I'm going to go kill him anyway.

[Private]

[godsays]

You're not responsible for what I do, then.

private

[patheticvillain]

You're saying that if you don't get metals you're going to go after him anyway. When you could lose. That's a threat.

[godsays]

[He looks to the Emperor. Looks to the food. Sits up, groggily.]

What happened?

[Private]

[mistconduct]

Yes, I fucking am, you asshole. All of this shit that comes out of this? That's on me. I provoked Dent. I made this shit happen.

You sit down, you fucking shut up, you wait for me to tell you what we're doing.

Is that clear?

private

[godsays]

I have enough. I'll win.

[Private]

[godsays]

No.

[Private]

[mistconduct]

You want to look for the prick responsible?

You're looking at him right the fuck now.

And I can't fucking trust my own fucking judgement right now, so you need to fucking listen to whatever the fuck Cassel tells you when he wakes up because he knows more than us two morons combined.

private

[patheticvillain]

[No words. Just shallow breathing, the beginnings of the choppy hiccups that signify tears. He swallows them back down.]

private

[godsays]

I can't let him go without hurting him.

[Private]

[godsays]

I can't promise I'll listen to him either.

private

[patheticvillain]

You're hurting me! Now!

[Vicious, desperate, and pained. He doesn't think there's anything he can do to change Zane's mind. Doesn't know why he's trying.]

[Private]

[mistconduct]

You're a fucking stupid prick, Zane. And I'm willing to forgive you for it because I'm an even stupider fucking prick.

private

[godsays]

Why don't you want this? It's everything he deserves and I want it to come from us. Our family.

[Private]

[godsays]

Of course you are. But words are just words.

private

[patheticvillain]

Because it's letting him win. It's letting him beat all three of us.

He already hurt me. I'm not gonna let him win on top of that.