godsays | Entries tagged with daddy issues

[ Zane has a half-empty brownie plate next to him. (Courtesy of a couple certain superheroes.) He's leaning back against his bed, sitting on the floor. He licks his fingers of crumbs, and folds his arms so his elbows rest on his knees. ]

I was thinking.

[ He rubs at one of his eyes. ]

Whether or not you need someone, or love them - that doesn't have anything to do with whether you think they're - good. Good. Or good for you. You don't think like that. You think about how you feel. You don't think at all. Or you only think - in stupid ways.

You have to train someone to think that way. And will they really be happy? Calculations. Is this person better for me than they are bad... they owe me this much love to even the scales.

I've never done that. But I think it would be worse than keeping track of slight, or humiliation, or jealousy, or power. Keeping those was just ordinary. As easy as breathing or Burning.

There are some people I love who might not be very good. Here. But I love them anyway. Like family.

[ He's very intense. And keeps staring off into the distance for a second or two. ]

All my family is dead. [ Abruptly. ] Except, I think - maybe not. Probably dead.

[ He bites his lip, contemplatively. ]

I want to chew something.

( ADDED MESSAGES )

[ GENERAL: DAY

He slips through the crowds, among them but not touched by them, his panther daemon pacing patiently by his side. He checks with his contacts and listens to how the world is moving, what people are saying, what they are thinking. He skirts the market and the docks, dipping into them to pause on the quay and watch the water move. He's scouting.

NIGHT: HUNTING

At night, at dusk and dawn, it's different. He's hunting. He paces up and down the darkest alleys and the edges of the world. He looks for children. Sometimes he does this with his sister. Together, they never come home empty-handed.

CHURCH

He drifts to different churches, preferring the larger ones or the cathedral, with broad stained glass and deep shadows and air streaming with dust. Not Dust, of course; this is just the ordinary kind, but when Zane kneels, when he bows his head, he imagines that it is the other sort, that it is sin that sparkles in the air around him, sin that he breathes in, sin that illuminates the shafts of color from the stained glass.

Here, he prays, fervently, straining for even a hint of the Authority's voice. Riona paces patiently beside him, and watches, ever-attentive, when his eyes are closed and he has no more will to watch for himself.

He stays in here too long, in the near-emptiness, as handfuls of worshippers drift in and out.

THE PARTIES OF THE RICH

But he is, after all, a member of the society of Oxford. His isn't just to hunt, and to listen to informants on the street. Sometimes, what one hears in a party is a thousand times more important.

So at the events of the rich, of the high-class, he can be found in rich and fine clothes, a glass of drink in his hand, dancing and conversing and making connections as is demanded of him.

He thinks of this as another mask.

AT HOME

After dawn, he returns home, perhaps after sweeping up another child in the net of captives, perhaps empty-handed. He slips into the narrow apartment that he holds on his own, though his father owns other places in the building. His daemon steps up on a couch by the window, and Zane is hard-pressed, always, to stay away from the knives perpetually laid out on the table.

OTHER

Write me a thing, we'll do a thing. ]

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31

ZANE . house venture

Entries tagged with daddy issues

30th metal . video . CW for unknowing marijuana use

gobble gobble . 27th metal

Profile

May 2018

Syndicate

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags