[He doesn't know how to explain. Like him, yes, he is. In pain, yes, he was. A friend? Cassel isn't naive enough to believe that. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.]
[He discards that train of thought and moves on to the other one that's impossible to explain: how he deserved this, how he can be useful this way, how it made him feel better, how he's surprised it hasn't happened yet. How Zane didn't touch him with his bare hands after Cassel said not to. How much more relaxed he felt afterwards, before everybody started getting mad.]
[The fact that people are defending him, he tries not to think about.]
spam
[He doesn't know how to explain. Like him, yes, he is. In pain, yes, he was. A friend? Cassel isn't naive enough to believe that. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement.]
[He discards that train of thought and moves on to the other one that's impossible to explain: how he deserved this, how he can be useful this way, how it made him feel better, how he's surprised it hasn't happened yet. How Zane didn't touch him with his bare hands after Cassel said not to. How much more relaxed he felt afterwards, before everybody started getting mad.]
[The fact that people are defending him, he tries not to think about.]
It helped both of us.