No, and she won't be able to use them again. I didn't announce what I'm doing because of what she did. It's not... good. [his voice is tight] Might not work and I might end up as inmate if it goes bad.
You didn't cause it, then. Maybe you should have been more careful preventing it, but I don't know her very well. I don't know how careful you were, either.
[And Arkin really looks terrible. Like somebody who hasn't been sleeping much and maybe missed a meal here or there. Cigarette smoke is clinging to him though he put it out before he came.]
[ He's there just a moment later. Nods to Arkin to open the door ahead of him, because neither of them really want the increased chance of red sun and ash-filtered sky.
[With Arkin going in first the created world is at dusk. Storm clouds rumbling above but nothing coming down. It's a forested and rocky area.]
Everything she says doesn't bother her, bothers her, under the surface. Suppressed. Who she really is isn't the bitch she's made herself out to be. Everybody she loved was either killed in front of her or had their love for her used against them. People she was supposed to protect.
To get the real her out -- [he's not looking at him while he talks. he starts moving into the little forest area.] -- I gotta get through the cracks and hurt her and keep pushing until something gives.
[ He sees why Arkin is upset, immediately, but he doesn't speak for a long moment. He steps out into the forest; it always feels odd to be in the middle of such breathing life, clouds of green, no metal except maybe a little buried in veins deep below.
He pauses to breathe, and then follows Arkin. ]
You're doing the wrong thing for the right reasons, and the right result.
Don't really care what the Admiral thinks. [He picks up a fallen stick.]
It's not him I'm worried about.
[He hesitates, looking off at some rock formations.] You saw what happens when I get pushed too far. In that memory. I don't have much control when that happens.
[He sends the stick flying into the trees.]
One of these times... it's not gonna be somebody who deserves it.
[Zane can take that responsibility. In fact, that's a responsibility that would make him feel better - because he would try to stop Arkin anyway. And he would try to do it without hurting him.
He has a surprising amount of respect for the strength in that wiry frame. Arkin impresses him.]
I don't know what you did but it stopped me right at the line. [He frowns for a second.]
Nearly killed a guy because he took a swing at me. If I hadn't been dragged off him I probably would have killed him. He wasn't a bad guy, just scared. That was before all this though... [He gestures up to the area around them. Before the Barge.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
[private]
[ He speaks slowly, trying to think through how he's going to greet this, given the fact that the last time he really spoke to Arkin he kissed him. ]
[private]
[private]
Do you want to talk about it?
[private]
[A long pause]
...Yeah. Though I need you not tell a couple people anything I tell you.
[private]
Do you mean specific people? Or just not tell anyone.
[private]
Anyone but there are some that're more dire than others.
[private]
[private]
[private]
I was worried one might be Cassel, though. I don't want to lie to him.
[private]
Can we meet up?
[private]
[private]/[spam]
[And Arkin really looks terrible. Like somebody who hasn't been sleeping much and maybe missed a meal here or there. Cigarette smoke is clinging to him though he put it out before he came.]
[spam]
He wrinkles his nose, briefly, at the scent. ]
[spam]
Everything she says doesn't bother her, bothers her, under the surface. Suppressed. Who she really is isn't the bitch she's made herself out to be. Everybody she loved was either killed in front of her or had their love for her used against them. People she was supposed to protect.
To get the real her out -- [he's not looking at him while he talks. he starts moving into the little forest area.] -- I gotta get through the cracks and hurt her and keep pushing until something gives.
[spam]
He pauses to breathe, and then follows Arkin. ]
You're doing the wrong thing for the right reasons, and the right result.
The Admiral usually understands that.
[spam]
It's not him I'm worried about.
[He hesitates, looking off at some rock formations.] You saw what happens when I get pushed too far. In that memory. I don't have much control when that happens.
[He sends the stick flying into the trees.]
One of these times... it's not gonna be somebody who deserves it.
[spam]
[Zane can take that responsibility. In fact, that's a responsibility that would make him feel better - because he would try to stop Arkin anyway. And he would try to do it without hurting him.
He has a surprising amount of respect for the strength in that wiry frame. Arkin impresses him.]
[spam]
I don't know what you did but it stopped me right at the line. [He frowns for a second.]
Nearly killed a guy because he took a swing at me. If I hadn't been dragged off him I probably would have killed him. He wasn't a bad guy, just scared. That was before all this though... [He gestures up to the area around them. Before the Barge.]
[spam]
[ This is kind of a sideways apology. ]
You snap sometimes. I get like that.
[spam]
[It's cool, bro. Don't need no apologies.]
Yeah. Noticed that. [Tiny bit of a smile there.]
[spam]
[ It doesn't come out in him the same as in Arkin, but he understands. ]
I'll try to stop you, then. If I know.