[Mickey has never seen the value in talking things out. Things happen or they don't, you feel this way or that way about it... he's never understood why talking about it is supposed to help. It seems to him like all it would do is bring it all up again. So he tunes out quickly the second Zane starts, and if his hands weren't currently full (with a bottle in one and a smoke in the other) he'd probably just switch off entirely. Zane's isn't a face he really wants to look at right now.
That changes when he hears something in Zane's voice and looks over to see the tears falling. That's-- It's--
Men don't cry in the Milkovich family. Real Men don't cry in public where he comes from, no matter what their name is. And if they do, they definitely don't do it while talking about their dads and love and stuff. Even if Mickey hadn't learned that from his dad as a kid, he would have learned it pretty damn fast in juvie, where any guy who shed a tear might as well have been wearing a target on his back.
But Zane doesn't look even a little embarrassed or nervous or defensive or anything, and that shakes Mickey, because he would have readily called Zane a Real Man at any time before now. He saw him dive into 407 to save Jerry; he's heard him talk on the network. He's a stone-fucking-cold killer.
And he's right -- because Mickey is a son who wanted to love his father, too -- and he's crying, and he doesn't seem to care, and that doesn't add up at all in Mickey's head. He's literally never seen it before in a real guy, like, one he's talked to, one not on the TV. Shit, even Ian doesn't cry in front of him.
He doesn't even think of responding on the network. He has absolutely no idea what he would say. He waits and watches the responses come in, silently transfixed. And whenever Zane leaves the garden, Mickey is still there on the deck. He's sitting far from the exit, over by the railing, but he's staring right at the door in a way that makes it clear he's been staring for a while.]
[spam, later] [placeholder-ish]
That changes when he hears something in Zane's voice and looks over to see the tears falling. That's-- It's--
Men don't cry in the Milkovich family. Real Men don't cry in public where he comes from, no matter what their name is. And if they do, they definitely don't do it while talking about their dads and love and stuff. Even if Mickey hadn't learned that from his dad as a kid, he would have learned it pretty damn fast in juvie, where any guy who shed a tear might as well have been wearing a target on his back.
But Zane doesn't look even a little embarrassed or nervous or defensive or anything, and that shakes Mickey, because he would have readily called Zane a Real Man at any time before now. He saw him dive into 407 to save Jerry; he's heard him talk on the network. He's a stone-fucking-cold killer.
And he's right -- because Mickey is a son who wanted to love his father, too -- and he's crying, and he doesn't seem to care, and that doesn't add up at all in Mickey's head. He's literally never seen it before in a real guy, like, one he's talked to, one not on the TV. Shit, even Ian doesn't cry in front of him.
He doesn't even think of responding on the network. He has absolutely no idea what he would say. He waits and watches the responses come in, silently transfixed. And whenever Zane leaves the garden, Mickey is still there on the deck. He's sitting far from the exit, over by the railing, but he's staring right at the door in a way that makes it clear he's been staring for a while.]