godsays | 30th metal . video . CW for unknowing marijuana use

[ Zane has a half-empty brownie plate next to him. (Courtesy of a couple certain superheroes.) He's leaning back against his bed, sitting on the floor. He licks his fingers of crumbs, and folds his arms so his elbows rest on his knees. ]

I was thinking.

[ He rubs at one of his eyes. ]

Whether or not you need someone, or love them - that doesn't have anything to do with whether you think they're - good. Good. Or good for you. You don't think like that. You think about how you feel. You don't think at all. Or you only think - in stupid ways.

You have to train someone to think that way. And will they really be happy? Calculations. Is this person better for me than they are bad... they owe me this much love to even the scales.

I've never done that. But I think it would be worse than keeping track of slight, or humiliation, or jealousy, or power. Keeping those was just ordinary. As easy as breathing or Burning.

There are some people I love who might not be very good. Here. But I love them anyway. Like family.

[ He's very intense. And keeps staring off into the distance for a second or two. ]

All my family is dead. [ Abruptly. ] Except, I think - maybe not. Probably dead.

[ He bites his lip, contemplatively. ]

I want to chew something.

[ private to Vin, Marsh, Erik, the 16th ]

Kelsier is in a coma.

[ private to Morgana, the 16th]

Help me.

[ private to Cassel, the 16th ]

I'm not holding together.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[This response is somewhat delayed, because Cassel has to go give Anya a high-five.]

[Okay here he is.]

You are, like, twenty times too serious. Why do I even like you?

The question. Is why do I like you?

Because I'm not twenty times too serious.

No. That's not it.

That's Chris.

'Cause I'm not twenty times too serious and also wore you down by breaking into your room repeatedly.

No, that's why I love you.

Oh my god, what's the difference.

Like is - iron. Love is like. Duralumin.

[Zane, why the shit would you say that, now he's having a feeling.]

Shut up.

The answer to all your stupid philosophical bullshit is that family's complicated and love is complicated and if you try to break it down into right or wrong or its component parts you're just deluding yourself.

You are in dire need of some chips or something.

Are they loud?

[ Chips, he means. ]

Super loud.

Good. Bring them.

Where the fuck is my please, Zane?

Maybe you'll find it on the way.

Asshole.

[He's gonna show up with chips anyway because he's nice like that B(]

[ He's on the bed, now. Looking up at the ceiling. At a water stain. ]

[Chip bag torpedo incomingggggggg]

[ guess who's catching it without looking ]

The bag is noisy.

Your face is noisy.

[He kicks the door shut (noisily) and scoots onto the bed, craning his neck to look at the ceiling.]

Pretty excellent ceiling, there.

It's not perfect.

Perfect things aren't that great.

But they're perfect.

And boring.

What, you mad at the stain?

No. Yes.

No.

So a little bit.

(no subject)

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