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Sticky: How's My Driving
Any remarks on my roleplaying? Feel free to comment here, or contact me @ cornichaun on AIM, Plurk or gmail!
071st metal . voice & zero spam . possible cw for self-harm
[ voice ]
[ Zane's voice is soft, and hoarse. ]
When will someone let me out.
[ action ]
[ He wakes up in Zero in agony. Too many kinds to sort out and identify: raging thirst, the world swimming in front of his eyes, the stabbing pain of every heartbeat, the full-body torture of the death toll, but it's all mixed, all together, and he's moving before he knows it. He grasps for metals, but he's empty, there's nothing, there's no feeling of Allomancy at all.
He falls to the cold ground and goes to the sink, drinking thirstily, and then, with no memory of what happened between, he finds himself at the bars. ] Charles. [ He's calling for help, the cry of an angry and hurt child, and he hits the bars and shakes them, and it's too long before he remembers that he doesn't have a warden anymore. He is a warden.
His mind feels torn to shreds. He wants to hurt things again. The voice grips him.
He curls up, shaking. ]
[ Zane's voice is soft, and hoarse. ]
When will someone let me out.
[ action ]
[ He wakes up in Zero in agony. Too many kinds to sort out and identify: raging thirst, the world swimming in front of his eyes, the stabbing pain of every heartbeat, the full-body torture of the death toll, but it's all mixed, all together, and he's moving before he knows it. He grasps for metals, but he's empty, there's nothing, there's no feeling of Allomancy at all.
He falls to the cold ground and goes to the sink, drinking thirstily, and then, with no memory of what happened between, he finds himself at the bars. ] Charles. [ He's calling for help, the cry of an angry and hurt child, and he hits the bars and shakes them, and it's too long before he remembers that he doesn't have a warden anymore. He is a warden.
His mind feels torn to shreds. He wants to hurt things again. The voice grips him.
He curls up, shaking. ]
070th metal . voice
I love this boat.
[ His voice sounds odd, a mix of detached and too intense. ]
In my world, if I hurt someone, I almost never saw the consequences. The grieving widows. The angry comrades. Here, I can see it all. I saw it spread. I saw you notice, and I saw you get afraid. I smell you afraid.
...do you hear it? God says I should kill you.
If you want to try me, come and find me.
[ Zane can be found around deck: greenhouse, deck, Enclosure. ]
[ His voice sounds odd, a mix of detached and too intense. ]
In my world, if I hurt someone, I almost never saw the consequences. The grieving widows. The angry comrades. Here, I can see it all. I saw it spread. I saw you notice, and I saw you get afraid. I smell you afraid.
...do you hear it? God says I should kill you.
If you want to try me, come and find me.
[ Zane can be found around deck: greenhouse, deck, Enclosure. ]
069th metal . mystery murderer . closed to pre-arranged threads
[ Per this plotting, Zane has begun to go on a violence spree. Separate murder threads in comments. ]
068th metal . breach . video & action
[ video ]
[ Zane broadcasts from the Kwoon. He's got a reputation as one of the best hand-to-hand fighters in there - maybe not particularly innovative with the jaeger, but in person he's incredible, fluid, graceful, in a league apart.
His partner is in a coma right now. His jaeger isn't operational. So he's been training people. ]
Who wants to lose a fight?
[ He asks it lightly, a little smile on his face. ]
[ action ]
[ Catch him in training, grabbing a meal in the cafeteria, or stop by his room. ]
[ Zane broadcasts from the Kwoon. He's got a reputation as one of the best hand-to-hand fighters in there - maybe not particularly innovative with the jaeger, but in person he's incredible, fluid, graceful, in a league apart.
His partner is in a coma right now. His jaeger isn't operational. So he's been training people. ]
Who wants to lose a fight?
[ He asks it lightly, a little smile on his face. ]
[ action ]
[ Catch him in training, grabbing a meal in the cafeteria, or stop by his room. ]
067th metal . video
I...
Maybe I shouldn't have kept all the weeds alive.
[ He turns the camera to show a weed pile, overgrown, tangled, and spreading. It's horrifying, but has a lot of nice wildflowers poking out. ]
Does anyone... want wildflowers?
Maybe I shouldn't have kept all the weeds alive.
[ He turns the camera to show a weed pile, overgrown, tangled, and spreading. It's horrifying, but has a lot of nice wildflowers poking out. ]
Does anyone... want wildflowers?
066th metal . video
You're dreaming about each other's deaths. Some of you are dreaming about deaths on the Barge.
That means some of you might dream about deaths that I caused. [ Allison, Touko. ]
I'm a killer. I can't change that. But I'm sorry for what I did, and I try not to hurt people anymore.
...that's all.
[ He comes back on later. ]
In the greenhouse, I'll be making a cloud of Soothing. It should calm more turbulent emotions. If anyone wants that, you can come there.
That means some of you might dream about deaths that I caused. [ Allison, Touko. ]
I'm a killer. I can't change that. But I'm sorry for what I did, and I try not to hurt people anymore.
...that's all.
[ He comes back on later. ]
In the greenhouse, I'll be making a cloud of Soothing. It should calm more turbulent emotions. If anyone wants that, you can come there.
065th metal
[ spam ]
[ He stares out at the stars half-panicked, wide-eyed. They're so clear: more of them than he's ever seen before.
He burns steel/iron/tin/pewter, shields with copper, stretches out with bronze. He can't hear anything.
He's darted around the ship, lurked in the shadows, moved quick and quiet and unobtrusive as possible, but what is on deck stuns him. ]
[ video ]
[ The feed is trained on the stars. ]
Why are the stars like this.
Why is it all metal.
[ His voice is flat and cold.
And much too young. ]
[ replies from![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
venturemistborn. ]
( Dear Admiral... )
[ He stares out at the stars half-panicked, wide-eyed. They're so clear: more of them than he's ever seen before.
He burns steel/iron/tin/pewter, shields with copper, stretches out with bronze. He can't hear anything.
He's darted around the ship, lurked in the shadows, moved quick and quiet and unobtrusive as possible, but what is on deck stuns him. ]
[ video ]
[ The feed is trained on the stars. ]
Why are the stars like this.
Why is it all metal.
[ His voice is flat and cold.
And much too young. ]
[ replies from
venturemistborn. ]( Dear Admiral... )
064th metal
[ It is astonishing the way this city has been built for him. The buildings are metal, skeletons of metal and decorations of it, metal lining the street and sunken into the concrete. Metal moving with the cars and still in the lines encased in rubber.
Zane takes to the skies at night. He Jumps from sources of metal, sometimes not even touching the ground between. He lands light on the rooftops and runs to the edge and Jumps again, soars as high as he ever has and letting himself fall until he catches himself on a little squat metal thing on a streetside and flies again.
Sometimes he rests on the edge of these buildings and listens. He doesn't want to get too close to the crowds. But he does want to see their freedom. Their happiness and despair and their lack of fear.
He looks for familiar faces, but mostly he just watches. ]
Zane takes to the skies at night. He Jumps from sources of metal, sometimes not even touching the ground between. He lands light on the rooftops and runs to the edge and Jumps again, soars as high as he ever has and letting himself fall until he catches himself on a little squat metal thing on a streetside and flies again.
Sometimes he rests on the edge of these buildings and listens. He doesn't want to get too close to the crowds. But he does want to see their freedom. Their happiness and despair and their lack of fear.
He looks for familiar faces, but mostly he just watches. ]
063rd metal
Yes. It's normal.
[ Zane is in the greenhouse dome; he's lit by the panels of lights aimed on the plants, to keep them alive. Keep them going. ]
For the Barge to be dark, and for people to be left behind.
More than a year ago, now, it was Silent Hill. It's been the Mirror Barge. It's been the Emperor's attempt to escape... it's been crash-landings on planets of caves and lightning.
Stop talking about the Barge like it's safe. Just because you can't die doesn't mean you're safe. It means that there will always be another opportunity to set things right. It means you can't let go of hope.
If anyone wants to, in the greenhouse, you can adopt a seed or a seedling in honor of someone left behind. I don't know if it will help. It might.
[ Zane is in the greenhouse dome; he's lit by the panels of lights aimed on the plants, to keep them alive. Keep them going. ]
For the Barge to be dark, and for people to be left behind.
More than a year ago, now, it was Silent Hill. It's been the Mirror Barge. It's been the Emperor's attempt to escape... it's been crash-landings on planets of caves and lightning.
Stop talking about the Barge like it's safe. Just because you can't die doesn't mean you're safe. It means that there will always be another opportunity to set things right. It means you can't let go of hope.
If anyone wants to, in the greenhouse, you can adopt a seed or a seedling in honor of someone left behind. I don't know if it will help. It might.
062nd metal . mirror event cont'd
Sylvanas set fire to the elevator.
I'm sorry.
[ He sounds more than a little exasperated. ]
Hopefully, in the future, particular - entities who should be focused on piloting the ship can refrain from provoking my inmate.
[ NOT THAT HE'S NAMING NAMES. ]
She's confined to her cabin for the foreseeable future, unless she agrees to assist with Maintenance. [ Which she won't. ]
If anyone has problems with other inmates, or if they don't feel safe, as always, as long as I'm in charge of the greenhouse, I enforce a ban on violence there. You can treat it as a sanctuary.
I'm sorry.
[ He sounds more than a little exasperated. ]
Hopefully, in the future, particular - entities who should be focused on piloting the ship can refrain from provoking my inmate.
[ NOT THAT HE'S NAMING NAMES. ]
She's confined to her cabin for the foreseeable future, unless she agrees to assist with Maintenance. [ Which she won't. ]
If anyone has problems with other inmates, or if they don't feel safe, as always, as long as I'm in charge of the greenhouse, I enforce a ban on violence there. You can treat it as a sanctuary.
Entry tags:
061st metal . mirrorverse
[ Zane decides to hunt down the impostors. He could request a port for Morgana, or Aslan. He might even find a way to help them escape. Hunting from the shadows would work, it's always been his habit, but -
But there might be a tactic that's even better.
He knows something about the other Zane. Nathan told him, once. It was something about hope, and finding people to care about. To love. He understands that. But, in the end, he can have that and be ruthless. He doesn't have to let any weakness creep in, except when it comes to the few he's claimed.
So he keys the comm on, and he pretends to be from that - other place. ]
I want to know that the people I care about aren't changed.
[ He injects a little bit of desperation into his voice, under a layer of control. It's complex. He shouldn't assume his counterpart is incompetent. ]
[ ooc: Zane is switched, and planning to try and draw people in by pretending. He might not actually end up killing them, if he's interested enough in who they are and what they're saying, but fucked-up torture-y things might happen anyway. If you want to arrange something specific, pm or plurk. ]
But there might be a tactic that's even better.
He knows something about the other Zane. Nathan told him, once. It was something about hope, and finding people to care about. To love. He understands that. But, in the end, he can have that and be ruthless. He doesn't have to let any weakness creep in, except when it comes to the few he's claimed.
So he keys the comm on, and he pretends to be from that - other place. ]
I want to know that the people I care about aren't changed.
[ He injects a little bit of desperation into his voice, under a layer of control. It's complex. He shouldn't assume his counterpart is incompetent. ]
[ ooc: Zane is switched, and planning to try and draw people in by pretending. He might not actually end up killing them, if he's interested enough in who they are and what they're saying, but fucked-up torture-y things might happen anyway. If you want to arrange something specific, pm or plurk. ]
060th metal
I wanted to talk about the Barge.
[ He's in the garden again, the garden that's going to become lonely without Morgana. (Visible in the shot is a certain special, elaborate, beautiful flower that he's threatened people over before.) ]
I got here... it's been almost two years for me, though less for the people here. I graduated in five months. That time was terrifying, and painful, and wonderful. I changed so much. But I've changed more since then. It was just a step, not an ending.
I think it's hard to be a warden because what the Admiral does, sometimes, isn't fair. He takes people who have suffered and hurt and lost and makes them suffer more. He traps people who have been trapped their whole lives, and he's not concerned with anyone calling it wrong.
I know - I know inmates have almost always hurt people. I know the Barge changes us into people who don't. I think the way that happens is that it makes us not alone anymore. It shows us mirrors of ourselves. It shows us love. It hurts us and shows us that we can heal.
[ He's started to cry, tears spilling over, though his expression doesn't change. ]
I was never loved. You, all of you who were, you're so lucky. I thought that a son should love his father, and so I let him use me, and I gave him everything he expected. I killed, and I watched, and - I even tried to kill him sometimes, because he expected it, and he would have thought I was weak if I hadn't. Then, when I became too skilled, he tried to dispose of me, and when that didn't work, he tried to buy me, and I...
You don't know how lucky you are. You don't know how it changes everything when people love you.
[ He wipes tears away. ]
It's not going to be the same without Morgana.
[ spam for sylvanas ]
[ He stops by her cabin, after making the post. Just a check-in, which he does every once in a while, making sure she's all right, that she doesn't need anything. He knocks, because he never comes in without asking - at least, not until Lirath's opened the door for him. ]
[ He's in the garden again, the garden that's going to become lonely without Morgana. (Visible in the shot is a certain special, elaborate, beautiful flower that he's threatened people over before.) ]
I got here... it's been almost two years for me, though less for the people here. I graduated in five months. That time was terrifying, and painful, and wonderful. I changed so much. But I've changed more since then. It was just a step, not an ending.
I think it's hard to be a warden because what the Admiral does, sometimes, isn't fair. He takes people who have suffered and hurt and lost and makes them suffer more. He traps people who have been trapped their whole lives, and he's not concerned with anyone calling it wrong.
I know - I know inmates have almost always hurt people. I know the Barge changes us into people who don't. I think the way that happens is that it makes us not alone anymore. It shows us mirrors of ourselves. It shows us love. It hurts us and shows us that we can heal.
[ He's started to cry, tears spilling over, though his expression doesn't change. ]
I was never loved. You, all of you who were, you're so lucky. I thought that a son should love his father, and so I let him use me, and I gave him everything he expected. I killed, and I watched, and - I even tried to kill him sometimes, because he expected it, and he would have thought I was weak if I hadn't. Then, when I became too skilled, he tried to dispose of me, and when that didn't work, he tried to buy me, and I...
You don't know how lucky you are. You don't know how it changes everything when people love you.
[ He wipes tears away. ]
It's not going to be the same without Morgana.
[ spam for sylvanas ]
[ He stops by her cabin, after making the post. Just a check-in, which he does every once in a while, making sure she's all right, that she doesn't need anything. He knocks, because he never comes in without asking - at least, not until Lirath's opened the door for him. ]
059th Metal . video & flood spam
[ video . backdated to Friday night . filtered from Jerry ]
I put the vampire in Zero. [ Zane doesn't appear injured at all. In fact, he barely appears ruffled. ]
I'm not his warden, but I suggest that you don't visit him and don't message him. Let him be bored.
I'm letting him out tomorrow morning, as Zero clearly isn't a permanent solution. It should be enough time for anyone who wants to put mountain ash in front of their cabin doors.
[ spam . the princeling ]
[ Zane is the somewhat-archetypal second son of a king; without the promise of inheritance, and with the shadow of scandal over his birth, he has gone out to seek his fortune. He travels with light armor and a sword, calm and quiet and determined.
He wanders through the Barge, and will help anyone who appears to need it, even if it's something as simple as helping a person carry a load of straw, even if it's as complex as offering defense against a monster. ]
I put the vampire in Zero. [ Zane doesn't appear injured at all. In fact, he barely appears ruffled. ]
I'm not his warden, but I suggest that you don't visit him and don't message him. Let him be bored.
I'm letting him out tomorrow morning, as Zero clearly isn't a permanent solution. It should be enough time for anyone who wants to put mountain ash in front of their cabin doors.
[ spam . the princeling ]
[ Zane is the somewhat-archetypal second son of a king; without the promise of inheritance, and with the shadow of scandal over his birth, he has gone out to seek his fortune. He travels with light armor and a sword, calm and quiet and determined.
He wanders through the Barge, and will help anyone who appears to need it, even if it's something as simple as helping a person carry a load of straw, even if it's as complex as offering defense against a monster. ]
058th metal
[ spam, greenhouse ]
[ Recently, anyone entering the garden (while Zane is there) experiences a mild increase in general peacefulness. It's a subtle effect, like releasing a heavy breath, like feeling some tension melt away. It could just be attributed to the pretty, idyllic setting. The greenery. The hush.
But the more psychically sensitive may be able to identify it as a gentle pull on all emotions in the area.
Zane can be found watering, pruning, fertilizing, tending the plants. ]
[ spam, CTS, on top of the greenhouse dome ]
[ He hasn't been around much the last few weeks, preferring to stay in and watch the newborn rabbits under his care. But they're growing more independent and he's growing restless. His lover still hasn't awakened from the coma yet. Nor has Marsh. He climbs the greenhouse dome in leaps far beyond what an (apparent) human should be able to do, soaring through the air and landing lightly on his feet.
Eventually, time finds him in front of the CTS, struggling with the decision to enter. He is dressed in a mistcloak, made of interwoven strips, independently moving; in the mist, he would be almost completely invisible. As it is, it's a little overdramatic in light of day. But it belonged to a mentor of his. He likes it. ]
[ video ]
[ He may look a lot like Stephen Hart, but his voice is lower, no evidence of an English accent. He studies the camera, and says: ]
I could use more help in the garden.
[ And then hangs up. There, that was all he wanted to say. ]
[ Recently, anyone entering the garden (while Zane is there) experiences a mild increase in general peacefulness. It's a subtle effect, like releasing a heavy breath, like feeling some tension melt away. It could just be attributed to the pretty, idyllic setting. The greenery. The hush.
But the more psychically sensitive may be able to identify it as a gentle pull on all emotions in the area.
Zane can be found watering, pruning, fertilizing, tending the plants. ]
[ spam, CTS, on top of the greenhouse dome ]
[ He hasn't been around much the last few weeks, preferring to stay in and watch the newborn rabbits under his care. But they're growing more independent and he's growing restless. His lover still hasn't awakened from the coma yet. Nor has Marsh. He climbs the greenhouse dome in leaps far beyond what an (apparent) human should be able to do, soaring through the air and landing lightly on his feet.
Eventually, time finds him in front of the CTS, struggling with the decision to enter. He is dressed in a mistcloak, made of interwoven strips, independently moving; in the mist, he would be almost completely invisible. As it is, it's a little overdramatic in light of day. But it belonged to a mentor of his. He likes it. ]
[ video ]
[ He may look a lot like Stephen Hart, but his voice is lower, no evidence of an English accent. He studies the camera, and says: ]
I could use more help in the garden.
[ And then hangs up. There, that was all he wanted to say. ]
metal 057 . video . bunnycam
[ The camera is carefully placed to give it a full view of a large basket full of hay, cotton, and baby rabbits. There are six of them, sleeping in a pile. The fur ranges from dark grey to mostly white with some splotches, and they. are. tiny. ]
Someone watch these.
There are battles to fight.
Blanket battles.
[ The camera will continue, off and on, for several hours. The bunnies wake up, wriggle around, do cute things, nibble on a little fresh grass, play with each other. Sometimes Dani, dark grey and fluffy around the neck, joins them. ]
Someone watch these.
There are battles to fight.
Blanket battles.
[ The camera will continue, off and on, for several hours. The bunnies wake up, wriggle around, do cute things, nibble on a little fresh grass, play with each other. Sometimes Dani, dark grey and fluffy around the neck, joins them. ]
metal 056 . video
I'm Zane.
I've killed hundreds of people. Thousands, maybe. Some were soldiers or guards. Some were in the wrong place. Some annoyed me. Some didn't see it coming. Some had a chance against me. Most didn't.
And it. Was. Easy.
Rogue said that when killing is easy, you've lost something that makes you human. I don't believe that. Because it's still easy. What's hard - is not.
When you decide not to kill someone, it's not just once. It's every day. It's every moment. Over and over again. When you decide to kill them, it's over. And sometimes all I want is for it to be over. And there are people here that, if I could, I would just kill them, and I wouldn't look back.
I'm a warden here.
Resurrection isn't just for our protection - for a warden's protection. It's for their protection too.
Killing can be right. Suffering can be right. Pain can be right.
Love can be wrong. Happiness can be wrong.
But this is the truth: killing is easy. It takes years to make a person. It takes seconds to end them. Knowing that doesn't make you inhuman. Being tempted by that doesn't make you inhuman. Rage and revenge are human too.
I regret. I hate myself. I struggle. That won't ever make me not a killer.
It won't ever make me not human, either.
[ Viciously, he cuts off the video. ]
I've killed hundreds of people. Thousands, maybe. Some were soldiers or guards. Some were in the wrong place. Some annoyed me. Some didn't see it coming. Some had a chance against me. Most didn't.
And it. Was. Easy.
Rogue said that when killing is easy, you've lost something that makes you human. I don't believe that. Because it's still easy. What's hard - is not.
When you decide not to kill someone, it's not just once. It's every day. It's every moment. Over and over again. When you decide to kill them, it's over. And sometimes all I want is for it to be over. And there are people here that, if I could, I would just kill them, and I wouldn't look back.
I'm a warden here.
Resurrection isn't just for our protection - for a warden's protection. It's for their protection too.
Killing can be right. Suffering can be right. Pain can be right.
Love can be wrong. Happiness can be wrong.
But this is the truth: killing is easy. It takes years to make a person. It takes seconds to end them. Knowing that doesn't make you inhuman. Being tempted by that doesn't make you inhuman. Rage and revenge are human too.
I regret. I hate myself. I struggle. That won't ever make me not a killer.
It won't ever make me not human, either.
[ Viciously, he cuts off the video. ]
metal 055 . death toll/cabin spam
[ Waking up like surfacing, like breaking out of deep, dark emptiness to the light of half-panic. Zane is in incredible, liquid pain, centered on heart and head. One is familiar. One is new. He gasps and breathes and sobs softly.
When he can move, when he's alone, he slides off of the broad, heavy-wood bed, taking the blanket with him, and collapses on the ground in the closet. The distinct lines of storage shelves on his left, the slats of the closet door on the right leaking light into the darkened space. He wraps the blanket around himself and stays quiet. ]
When he can move, when he's alone, he slides off of the broad, heavy-wood bed, taking the blanket with him, and collapses on the ground in the closet. The distinct lines of storage shelves on his left, the slats of the closet door on the right leaking light into the darkened space. He wraps the blanket around himself and stays quiet. ]