codename_duchess: (High-functioning alcoholism)
Sterling M. Archer ([personal profile] codename_duchess) wrote in [personal profile] godsays 2013-09-22 01:07 am (UTC)

["Sir" Sterling Archer (a knight, he holds and frequently explains, in breeding and bearing if not technically in title, and we all know which is the important part) is a well-known fixture at the parties in Oxford -- at least during the winter, when all he feels like exploring is how many bottles of wine he can get through. Currently he is on his third, practically sober for him but still over the drunkenness threshold, and sipping enthusiastically from a glass between sentences.]

So they bring me into this -- they probably called it a house, but that's only because they've never seen a real one. It was more like a mud hut with straw stuck to the walls with animal dung. We get in there and there are warriors at the door holding sharp sticks they probably thought were spears, and there's an old man sitting cross-legged on the floor. He started talking to me in this gobbledygook, making hand motions to this nubile young nymphette dressed in nothing more than a loincloth. It turns out he was asking me if I'd like to marry her.

Anyway, long story short, that's how I lost the Duchess of Inverness's ruby ring.

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